Sunday, October 07, 2007

They are here today, so tell them you appreciate them...tell them you love them.

It's true what they say...that the good go too early. We'll never understand it and, sometimes, we'll take too long a time to accept it.

I have trouble accepting some things in life. And then, without warning, after some time, you do realize the reality of the situation and it hits you like a ton of bricks.

I'll always remember my friend, Sing. I met him in the early 90s and despite not having a childhood history I can say he was closer to me than some of my childhood mates. With Sing there was no fear of opening up to him. He never judged and was always impartial.

If there was one word to describe Sing I'd use the word "CARING".

I could count on him...always. Knowing he was there, knowing I had Sing in my life made life easier to deal with it. Rare are those who are willing to help all the time.

He was passionate about life. He was a good man, husband, father, friend, and a kind soul.

When I first heard he was ill I thought, "He'll get out of this. He's a fighter."

And fight he did. He fought hard. And despite the discomfort he smiled, joked and laughed. But a Higher Power had other plans for him.

I don't know if I'll ever accept his passing. But it comforts me to know that he will always be in my heart, that he was a part of my life, that I have friends that love him as much as I do and we are there for each other.

It will never be the same without Sing. But like Colin said, and I could never have expressed it any better, we'll all be together soon.

Thank you, Colin, for sharing your eulogy...

People often ask what I remember most about Sing. I spent the last few days going through a chest full of memories about my best friend…my brother. And after 20 years of friendship, one memory does stand out. And funny enough, it’s not the obvious ones; it wasn’t his smile, or the experimental dishes that he conjures up for me to taste, or the many workouts in the gym we had. The thing I remember most is this…

About 10 years ago, when Sing worked out of his home, and when I was a school teacher. He called me during one of my summer breaks and suggested we head down to the central business district of Singapore at 5am, get ourselves coffee, sit by the sidewalk and watch people scurry to work. All this, so we can sit, relax, sip our coffee, and enjoy the fact that we didn’t have to. As strange as that sounded, it actually appealed to me and I agreed (I guess this is why we got on so well). So, on the day we decided to do this, he woke up at 4am, jumped into his convertible (a car he was driving at the time), and came over to pick me up. He would park his car at the foot of my apartment block, waiting for me to call to tell him I was ready to come down and then off we went. We drove with the top down and the wind in our hair. As anyone who’s ever lived in the heat of Singapore will tell you, it was a real delight to have the top down at that time of the morning because of the cool, unpolluted air. Anyway, we got to the middle of town just before 5am, bought ourselves coffee from the 24 hour convenience store there, and sat on the sidewalk. And you can imagine at that time of the morning, we were the only people foolish enough to be in town. Still, we sat and watched the empty streets gradually fill up with people, enjoying one another’s company. And it didn’t take more than a cup of coffee and simple conversation for us to have a great time. We enjoyed that morning so much that it became a regular thing with us. We would wake up early to do this, at least once for every holiday I had, and it became somewhat of a tradition with us. It was something we shared, just time to ourselves, as we watched people go about their daily lives.

My dear friend, it’s now 4am, and as usual you’ve gotten up way before I did. I can see you driving in your convertible with the top down, the wind in your hair, and a big smile on your face. You’re on your way to pick me up, but I’m still asleep. It might take awhile for me to wake up and get ready, but believe me brother, I will call you when I am ready. Someday soon we will have that coffee together, as we sit on the sidewalk and watch people go by. But I promise, this time, the view will be heavenly.

Rest in peace Sing…you will always be my best friend. ~ Colin Santa Maria

Peace & Love,


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